Death finally..

Travelled in an unreserved seat yesterday.
But then the seat was reserved for me. Period. (if you cannot get this dumbo, go to hell)

Postponed my death to a suitable date.

Moved to a new blog to reflect a new phase in my life.

Yeah, it sounds cliched.. but then let me complete the formality.

so Long and Thanks for all the fish...

This blog gave me some hope and made me to "smoke" in life..

This blog is dedicated to u ppl and the cigarette which I smoke....

i will return to this blog after twenty months...

(Added on 10th june): Me blogging here

easter..

Well in this moment of madness and death, I actually feel so happy today.

imagine this .....

Rain + K.Jesudas song + Finance book which makes you to think + A hot cuppa

Bliss all the way... No wonder, I love the journey rather than the destination...
and I get the hope that I ll find inner peace soon.

celebrating death -- part 4

"ithu enna mayam" song... two lines which make me to smile..

"vazhigalai nee moodi vaithal payanagal kidayathe..."
-- suits my death and resurrection after that...

"un varthaigal tharum vegathal naan meendum meedum katril pogiren.."
-- this is precisely why I want to die :D. You wont realise the warmth given by the words. But they keep hitting you at regular intervals. Then you realise without those words, you will miss something in life and you want to hear them day in and day out, 24 *7*365.

Easter sunday today.... Death and Resurrection - theme of the week

celebrating death -- part3

"puyal pona pinnum puthu pookal pookum...
ilavenil varai naan irukindren....."

I still stand by this line...

I ask myself... "Y did I do this?..."
I tell myself... " because this was bound to happen.. this is what u wanted to happen"
I ask myself... "ok... Did I try hard to break that?"
I tell myself..." I tried hard..bloody hard.. I substituted someone in place of someone.. but still my heart always knew what it wanted"
I ask myself... "ok.. but y shuld u die for this?"
I tell myself.. " i need to die .. only then rebirth is possible"
I ask myself... " Do i have the courage to die..."
I tell myself... " i cant answer frivolous questions like this..isnt it obvious"..

celebrating death -- part 2

I miss Jasmine flowers..
I miss Thavani angels
I miss east coast road
I miss the sea breeze
I miss my machans
I miss bread omlette at 3 in the night.
I miss Krishna hostel Nite outs..
I miss 47D,23C,5E.
I miss the king sized ego -- that "never in my life" attitude.
I miss this blog where once i wrote whatever i wanted.
I miss the joy of nothing.
I miss Chennai.

But Am I missing them.. Nope...
Rather I m watching them today.... (On april 6th,2006 - I am at chennai)

I would build "Me" back. Step by Step. Brick by Brick. But this time with more fire power and armour which cant be pierced.


Amen.

celebrating death

I promised that this will be my last post. But then , this is not my last:).
I have decided to celebrate death in my own special way. So wait for two or three more.
The next five days will teach me many things in life which I have never studied before.

I am not an egoist when it comes to relationships. Because I know the value of friends. And by friends, I mean people who will be there for you 24*7*365; People who will give u a call as soon as they know that nothing is working in your direction; People who will feel happy when you feel happy. I dont refer to any acquaintance as friends. The term Networking can go to hell.

I dont want anyone to feel sad for me. I hate people showing sympathy unless I ask you to call me up and share my inner thoughts. No one needs to dig my grave. I will rise again .. yeah in my own hard way.. in perfect peace.

The real reason why I want to stop blogging is all there in the name of this blog. I, who found joy even when nothing substantial happened in life, have ceased to find joy and pleasure in life.

I saw the mirror. I saw pale eyes which once had fire in them.
I saw the mirror. I saw a loser who never lost in his life.
I saw the mirror. I never saw myself.
I saw the mirror. I saw the death.
I saw the mirror. I saw my darkside.
I saw the mirror. I saw you.

I saw the mirror. I saw my ethics and selfishness fighting with each other.
I saw the mirror. I saw my selfishness winning hands down.
I saw the mirror. I saw Hope. Hope that I will live.

I saw the mirror. I broke the mirror. Period.

As I continue to die, I do not want anyone to wail for me. I do not want anyone to perform my last rites. I do not want to listen to the obvious. But then, this is what I want as well. So be away from me and be close to my heart.

Gentlemen, I smoked my 95th cigarette.

and I promise you people, as I smoke my 100th, the eagle (check out the link) will soar high. Back to Sky where it always belonged to...free,careless,joyous.

mother of all decisons - part 2 ...

smoked my 50-th cigarette today.

clarification: Mother of all decisions refers to life or death decision and I really mean it....

I can see it coming.. My death. But then I do know that I ll rise up from the grave alive - Never To die again....
Its tough not to be a scorpion. That is an understatement. Its bloody tough to be a scorpion.

Please forgive me for my sins...
My ethics is falling apart. Im going to break a promise and commit The sin
and everything is nearing an end........
I guess this is my penultimate post of the blog world.
The last post - My 100th cigarette post.... I thought it will never come. But then its on its way...
Then I shall die and rise , I repeat , RISE in peace.

my mummy sweetest...

My mummy is the bestest mom in the world.
My mummy gets angry if i dont cut my nails.
My mummy nevers gets angry otherwise.
My mummy is always there for me when i feel depressed and never asks me the question "y".
My mummy dances before attending an interview.
My mummy is so cuttteee...
My mummy loves my "otherside".
My mummy took her own time to complete the course ( hats off to u mummy for being strong)
my mummy dances all the nite with lots of energy.
my mummy behaves like a child.
my mummy is going to say "yahe he right choice baby..aaha"...
Me and my mummy share a tragic past which brought us close...

P.s.:
~otherside: continue to love my mummy ..my mummy likes u a lot....
~ God: I dont believe in u.. if my mummy will get her guy, I ll come and pray in the church...... Give them power to succeed against all odds.
~Mummy ( who doesnt know the blog exist): I didnt shed tears today.. I reserve it for ur marriage with ur guy....

weakness

Im addicted to smoking(refer to previous posts).
Does it mean that I will be addicted to cigarette forever in my life and suffer from cancer?
No way... I have never bowed before cigarette in my life. Be it wills-navy cut or Indian kings or marlbaro. My only worry is who will buy the cigaratte if I dont buy it... Once someone starts smoking, I ll quit smoking...
Also I promised the kirana shop owner that I wont quit smoking until he finds a new buyer.
As of now, the time i spend in smoking is the best time in the whole day, or week..
Also should I say the obvious thing ? that I Love cigarette. some one buy a cigarette and relieve me from my guilt ... quick :))...
This baby is not walking. This baby is just standing and evaluating all the options.. Evaluating the options like A* algorithm of AI;

P.s. What happened to my blog ?

Nothing. Just a conflict between ethics,values and selfishness in my mind is screwing my happiness..............and screwing this already screwed blog

Merci

Smoked my twentieth cigarette today (refer to previous post incase u r wondering about me smoking.)

Ppl, dont think im dumbo. Im not. Im not. Im not.

Sample incidents.

Girl1: "whats ur CQ"

Me: "Dont ask me...". (I really hate telling my CQ. No, mine is an average CQ. But even if it is high, I would not like to tell my CQ. I belong to "knowledge only matters" category)

Girl1: "its ok.. Mine is also low"...
I tell her my CQ. She says..
"My god.. i didnt think that u r that high"...

Next incident.

Girl2: "whats ur CQ"... (she didnt get the college which was allotted to me in the Exchange programme)

I tell her my CQ.. she says..
"My god... I didnt think that u r that high"....

Ppl.. Just because I wear an ordinary shirt, an ordinary pant, speak below average english doesnt mean that im a dumbo...
Me wondering who s the next victim...

Mother of all decisions

this post will be about thoughts which are going in my mind at present..

First, if u dont like someone's post, the best way to comment is " I like the title, I like the colour, I like blah, I like blah blah"... :P.
No, I dont follow that style..

Second, Im moving to a state where I have to take mother of all decisions. Can I pull it off ? Im wondering.. its like a baby taking its first step. Guess it will be so painful but its the first step towards freedom..
Just like smoking 100 cigarettes in a single day and quitting smoking from that moment.

I have taken tough decisions in the past. I left a sure shot exchange offer in IIT. I guess there were 2 offers. One was taken by the professor. Other one was rejected by a guy for some silly reason. I had a good CG which was an important criteria. But then, I had to stand by my values. I didnt apply.
The offer would have been extremely good. With a nice stipend in germany, I would have spent time with sands at Munich. But then, that was a tough decision to make. I still made it. Will I ever till my children about the offer and my decision? Yes, I will.. Let them Judge whether I was a fool or a person who stood for his values.

Should I be selfish now ? Should I quit... Should I not quit and suffer like a silent sea with restless waves..... The waves; Yes, the restless waves; the tough decision ahead; I can postpone it; but I know that i cant avoid it.... There are only two roads ahead... One strewn with flowers leads to the cliff.. The other full of thorns leads to the light at the end of tunnel...
Let me start smoking the first cigarette now... I wish the 100th one should not come in my life.... But reality is not maniratnam movie where everyone is happy at the end....

yeah, when the 100 th one comes, I know that I ll be the ONE to take the mother of all decisions....

p.s: 1) Song of the moment.. "it all comes down to this- Oru nallil from puthupettai".

2) Time to quit this blog is nearing. Once I smoke the 100th one, I guess I ll leave this... and end one phase of my life. A beautiful LIFE.

just a beep

no.. me not going to blog regularly .. atleast as of now. Have to come back from the depression or hibernation.
But then i felt like blogging this stuff.

Me: " dude. No one called me for a treat after CRP"
he: " machi, no one will call u.. u have to pester them"
me : " it doesnt happen that way"
He : " It happens that way in this place. People are shameless. It doesnt matter whether u worked, whether u spoke positive words."
Me : " but im not going to ask anyone. If they give, they give; Im not shameless"

shortly I got invited to a treat by my favorite gal in the campus :).
I hope she gets whatever she wants out of life. Atb for a kickass life, Anju :D
( Though she will never read this, it gives pleasure to have this in the blog because at the age of 60, u can read these things to ur grandchildren..he he)

Few things I realise after placement process and seniors bidding adieu.

--> Most of the friendships will not survive the first one year.

--> At the end of two years in college, people were settling 25 rupees.

--> People are really selfish. I thought i was one of the most selfish guys in this world, but then Im not.

--> A strange quality which I found recently in myself. If I give importance to someone, that someone has to give importance to me (especially if he gives importance to other tom, dick and harry who wont be putting a fight for him incaseof emergency).

--> got to know some nice seniors who liked me a lot. Im happy that I worked for them and they got their jobs. No , its not about recognition. Its about repaying them.

--> got to see how people fought for their loved ones. Cant forget two pairs. Hope they find peace and love in one another. Both the pairs have a mallu guy/gal:)

--> I know that im not as fluent or eloquent unlike others but then, i can take responsibilities, inspire people and fight for what i want in life.

May be I m a good manager in making......
May be Im boasting.
But then this is my blog.
and u r my friends.


P.s:
~otherside : forget abt the wounds. Sometimes even scars look good; teaches u few things; And turn on men :). I meant the finger injury :)

~proff: I know that someone is hittin u or u r trying to hit someone. hmm Life rolls the dice.

~scotland: Lost in thoughts ?.. what the fuck.. dont cheat me. U still cant get away from someone..

~coconut bunch: atleast u have some peace in life... good. Me happy for u

~unknown seniors whom i like or who likes me: Atb in life and adieu

~unknown juniors: welcome aboard... Lets party hard.

Me off to sleep with this entry.. for a long sleep.....

quitting :D

I wouldn't update this blog anymore for time being (just adding a qualifier).
The penultimate post of mine "piedpipers 2" made me to think a lot.
The otherside's post reflects my thoughts :D on life.

I realise what I want is to put myself under pressure; pressure to perform; I m not happy with the way things are going.

I may or may not comment in your posts.

when I start again,lets start as if nothing happened in the mean time.

Till then I'll continue reading your blogs. you can be damn sure that I will be reading your posts(everyone of you ).
Incase you need me, just send me an oneliner. Next moment I ll be there for you.

Time to be a spartan. The pain of leaving this blog for time being is enormous. But then I quit when I know that I m getting addicted.

I love this blog. Truly,deeply,Madly..

P.s.
1) Nothing cryptic in this blog...atleast thats what I want you people to believe.

2) Im wondering what label I should give to this blog. LOL :))

3) Song im hearing right now: "walking through the rainbow" - 7G rainbow colony. The speciality of the song is its a good "fake".. thats it.

pied pipers - part 2

This guy taught me few things in life.
May be committing to someone ( he was committed to the gal for 12 years before he got married to her), may be managing people ( i never learnt it ..but then i knew how ppl should manage), may be inspiring people, may be getting things done, may be going that extra length for friends, may be by being honest.
I m proud that i was your junior and that too one of your favorite juniors after ronaldo and other members of the clan :).
I m so eager to see his little cute kid. The first kid who will call us Mama or uncle in the entire circle.



and this photo. How can I forget the occasion!. It was his convocation and we were there for his send off. The only thing i remember is that he told us this " dey ..place aagunga da " (dey,get placed)and he cried. It was recession and placements were tough. It was the first time i saw him crying. He had a nice job in hand and he cried for his juniors.... I ll take that sight to my grave. Period



and this is the view from our hostel windows. The gals hostel was just near by and it was considered to be a sacrosanct :P place. So the song which used to play was "april mayele.." and that was the period where I used to bunk classes so that I can sit near the window and wait for my favorite gal to pass (name of the favorite gal will be revealed in mail, if someone wants :D)



and this is the "accused" (just like in police station) photo :)..The accused is in JOKA ( sob sob :(( ). From tamil medium school in a village from tamilnadu to Joka, dude u rock.... and i still remember u telling me that im going to crack jampot the day i took the exam... may our dreams come true.



and this is ronaldo with senthil. Ronaldo's favorite maldini is in the photo pasted on the wall. I can never forget the sight of ronaldo and senthil eating a chicken. Nothing will remain. Not even bones. its a sight and treat to eyes.


and this is the saxon picture performing their last dance in the sacred stage of PSG. The gang which ruled regulars and clashed with the rivals barricaders.. standing in the center of deepak alias gundan. I still miss their "ooru vittu ooru" song. The passion with which we supported them in all functions...Legendary.
This is what im missing rite now..the passion, the innocence, the ability to do things and go that extra mile,the crushes, the love for songs :(. May be im a B-school grad rite now :)
P.s. Thank u sreelu.copied ur style.

kannathil muthamittal

some dialouges which i always liked in this movie (which i saw today with a mid term tomorrow..he he)
..
" we didnt adopt u. You adopted us"
..
" enna kalyanam kattipiya..amudhavakku ammava iruppiya" ( will u marry me and be a mother to amudha ?)
...
" kavala padatha.. kavala patta nee romba azhgha theriyara... (dont look sad..if u look sad u loook more beautiful)
...
" Gk.. intha free advicelam venam"....(gk dont give us free advice)
...
" amma , ore oru thadavai.. ore oru thadavai.. vandhuttu apparam poidunga.. "...
(Ma,come to me once and then leave...)
.....

some questions which can never be answered..

can he ever give a movie like this again.. ? ..i guess no
Simran, nandita das -- who is the best mother ?..no comments.
why wasnt this movie sent to oscars in place of the stupid,lifeless devdas ?....

I should have watched this movie atleast 30 times... still i can watch.

surprising..

.........
I wrote an exam for joining a club related to finance... I was selected.. I thought out of 40 candidates who wrote, i ll be the last.. infact i wanted to give the paper without writing my name over it...
but im in top 20 :D...
so i m forced to work for finance :))).... after a long time, i guess certain fast forward in career....
.........

guardian angel and cellphone

"Angel I need u..."
"what happened dear"
"nothing much.. read my blog"
"got it...sure baby.. u got a call this weekend"
"kewl.. will wait for the call"

Angel called.. My Guardian angel... (Not that u guys are not guardian angels.. but we need specialists rite :)) )

and in a unrelated incident...

I came to know that someone saw a cellphone in a road and didnt take it. The cellphone called me and told me that incident(Pan's labyrinth effect). Hmm... its a costly cellphone :(.

signing off with few midterms in this week as well...

ilamaran

yeah....

Ilamaran is a 16 year old boy. He doesnt know what is right and what is wrong.He is naive. He lives in an utopia. Ilamaran will die when they take me to the grave.
Since Ilamaran is naive and cannot deal with anyone else, Ilamaran will be my private blog....

p.s. Ilamaran-thendral : I got it after trying names like
Ponni
vaagai
vaigai
Neithal
thendral
anbuselvan
Every good Tamil name has been already registered :((.

me against me

second post in three hours.
no comments/mails expected for this post and I m not ready to speak about this to anyone.
This blog was/is my safety valve. I guess I need this today.

I have been fighting against my values. And my values win hands down. Im sad. Im happy. I cry. I laugh. I m proud. I sulk. I m selfish. I m selfless. I crib. I dont crib. I help. Im helpless. Im from PSG. Im from IIT.
I belong to my present college. My present college doesnt belong to me.
Im real. Im life. Im death. Im a shadow.

yeah... But I m a man. Not a sham or pretender.

I repeat once again. I do not want any help in any form. The only help you can do is to ignore this post and speak with me as if nothing happened. I hope to delete this post in few weeks.

Amen.

hmm ..interests

well, since i was asked by me (otherside's other side = me..what bull crap..its adi) to write a post on my interests (i was tagged by him), here it goes...(not in order..so arbit ordering)

1) NP hard problems... generally they are medium sized problems(atleast in SAT). So hard to solve. Does it apply to culture ? If we have a huge population or a small population, are we doomed to perish ? I was generally thinking about this. Y cant i put an exploratory paper on this ?

2) what do u call a field which apply maths to social sciences, links physics with management
computer science and finance... I want to work in such a field..

3) why kerala model works ? I guess almost all managers like macroeconomics...

4) "Counterpoint" in Indian music.. Has any other music director used it other than ilayaraja ?..

5) Make an intelligent movie for middle class unlike maniratnam or karan johar. I want life in my movie and the cast will be
Kamalhasan -- villain
Mohanlal -- comedian
surya or vikram -- Hero
Nandita das / meera jasmine -- heroine

6) why do people think alike ? After I read "culture and psyche", I try to attribute whatever I do to freudism or some shit like that.

7) Dark,thin gals. I want to "explore" them :).

8) How and why does "Times of India" sell ? I guess finding answer to this should be easy.

9) Learn guitar. Atleast once in lifetime, I have to play his Bass-guitar special songs.

10) Listen and appreciate different genres of music.

At this point, I looked again into adi's posts. I saw some entry like "an applied field of unrelated functional domains" which is similar to what i said in point 2 ?

11) find out what is success...? is it a process or state ? y is it driving me crazy ?

12) start a quit club(like fight club). Suddenly you resign, move out of the place, roam for 10 days, come back and search for a job. I guess it will be exciting :)

13) Learn basketball ... Late but still I want to learn it. I love the gracefulness of the game. slam Dunk....

I guess I should go back now and read operation research for the mid term on Friday. Pausing my interests for time being...

The "other side" of the story

Isn't it misleading ? The topic, I mean..
Well the post is about me;
Ronaldinho's dribbling, Rahman's yesteryear Music, Vairamuthu's Lyrics, My arbit actions(rather whose arbit actions ?)..

Few years ago:

I enter a room. Senthil is sitting in one corner. M is sitting in other corner. I ask senthil whether we can go out for dinner. Senthil approves. M tells me that he would like to join us. I tell M to fuck off. Straight in the face......
No diplomacy. Diplomacy is/was/will be for nice guys.
But then, I never felt alone in UG. I was full of life. I did what I felt like doing.

These days:

"Hey buddy..whats up".. As ashok says how the hell am i supposed to answer this question. I know that the question doesn't come from heart. It comes from mouth and is used for "networking" ( a widely used lingo in B school)...
But then I'm back to UG mindset.

I got what I wanted to get from this college.
One more addition in the portfolio. But then this is little different. The other sex :) brings the other perspective :)
A new role in this relationship which my friends played to perfection and it is offered on a platter to me :). Hope I do a nice job.
I don't gave a damn about the taking out debacle.
I give what the fuck look to people who are mean to my other side in the college. But then I do not tell them I have the other side. Like shiva's third eye.

Its like the Tyler in the fight club
"quit your job. Start a fight. Prove that you are alive"
Time to prove the world I'm alive. Bloody well alive and dangerous.

Kindly don't expect me to be chivalrous, diplomatic, flirty any more.
I dont give a damn about any new "whats up" relationships.

P.s.
1) @otherside: Your presence in my life from now on is acknowledged. You should put a century partnership.

2) @Trio(u three know who this refers to ): I dont have time for you guys any more :) for some more weeks..

3) @Ronaldo: Get out of the fucking company and try to do MBA :). Put some money in my account. Im fast depleting my resources :(

It has started...............the year of the scorpion.

taking out debacle

Well,
Lesson number 1: If you are not comfortable with someone, then dont ask them out.
Lesson number 2: Be ready for Googlies.

Me: " Can I take you out for lunch ? just like that and nothing serious"
she doesnt respond.
She doesnt respond for another 30 minutes..
I Sms my other side.
Other side replies " what did she say ?"
I Sms my other side " waiting for result".
Then I call crimemaster gogo.
After I return back, I buzz her again " u thr"
She replies " yea"

Now I infer that the answer is no; And I strangely do not feel anything sad about this. I felt a tinge of sadness as this was my first attempt :-);

I reply back; " Thats kewl. Nothing serious about what I asked; and I just wanted to know whether you read what I typed."
Then I go for a meeting.
I come back
I have a message " what did you ask"

Me (thinking ) what the fuck

I reply back : " that was about what i sent u"
She : " what did u send me"
I : " I asked u out for lunch , just like that and since u didnt respond, I thought that u said no"
She : " oh. I thought that it was spam "
Me (thinking) : Jesus christ.... Am I that dumbo that I wont ask any gal out..
She : " is there any specific thing to it or is it generally"
Me (Thinking) : what the fuck shuld i answer ? More importantly what the fuck is the right answer to this question.
Ohh ..here i miss my other side.
cant someone attempt this question or cant i ignore this one.
I : " generally. Arbit "
SHe : " In that case i do not know more about you to come out with u"
me (thinking) : what.. thats y i want to take u out u moron...so that i can know more about u. If we both each other very well, there is no need for taking out. Its a direct engagement and commitment.

I : " thats kewl."
She: " probably later :) "
Me (thinking): yeah get some 2 kids with some guy and we have all the time in the world. we just have 50 more days here u dumbo.

SHe: " Do u know ? some xxx got some yyy call from some zzz college"
Me (thinking) : wait for a moment. Am i going crazy now ? .. I ask u out . U say no and u send me this trivial piece of info which im supposed to know :(( ?????
I : " is it a guy or gal ?". ( still some vital info shuld be collected)

She: " a guy"

Me(thinking): k..lets call it a day.. a guy ha :(

p.s. :

1) Is taking out a gal the first step or intermediate step or the final step ? I thought that i was intermediate step. Dear close friends who read this, can u help me out :) ?

2) I am happy :). I had 1001 works to do.
I have 1000 works to do.

3) I made a humourous(atleast tried to) post out of it. Because only my close friends read this and just to tell u guys that I m not affected by this "No".

Arbit 'o' Arbit

Program Test post. (Checking performacing extension in Mozilla firefox)

If (test post == success)

{

printf("%s",Mozilla rocks);

}

else

{

printf("%s",Mozilla still rocks);

}



p.s. Feels nice to write a C program ( with lots of mistakes :)) after a long time.

powered by performancing firefox

She...

She dated a simple,elegant,fun-loving,liberal,broad-minded,honest guy. They both decided to get married. It was her decision.

She had her Mother's face. Her father told her that. She was able to understand.

She started her own mechanical company as she wanted to employ unskilled labour. It was her decision. She got a loan from her father ( she insisted on a loan though her father wanted to gift the money.)

She worked as a consultant for a big conglomerate. She quit the job. It was her decision.

She gave many carnatic concerts. Music was her passion.

She pursued management degree from premier institute in India. It was her decision.

She got her book published by a big publishing company. Writing came naturally to her.

She worked for a biotechnology company. She was one of the founders of the company which wanted to provide low-cost medicines to people.

She graduated. She wanted to be entrepreneur. No one in the family objected to her wishes.

She played basketball representing Tamilnadu. She loved basketball.

She joined IIT madras. That was the best college in the country at that time. Her father's close friend was a big professor at IIT. She was crazy about engineering right from her childhood. She dreamt big.

She read a lot of books. She lived in the book world. She slept only for 6 hours a day.

She loved her father a lot. She loved her mother too. Though her mother was not as intelligent or as loving as her father, she had no choice.

She was loved by her father's and her mother's friends. They considered her as their own daughter. Prominent among them were a big industrialist, a big software guru, etc... It was too long to list her parents friends.

She spoke about her political views in the family. The family respected her choice.

She spoke about the latest crush she had in the school with her parents. They laughed. But they stepped in when they felt that she needed their help.

She was always given the option of doing or not doing a certain thing. She took her own decision. If it was not sensible, the faults were pointed out.

She didn't top the class. She was not forced to memorize. Though math and science came naturally to her.

She was three years old. Her parents were able to spend time for her inspite of their busy schedule.

She was called as amudha. Her name in the school records might be different though.

She had her mother's face. Though she couldn't understand that her father often said that.

She was born (or adopted by) to me and some xxxxxxxxxxxx.

p.s. Strong felt the urge of writing this........ donno y :)

The heroes

"Kamal hassan or Mohanlal" ?. I guess most of us would take a stand on this topic. I do know few people who think that kamal overacts. When it comes to talent in other aspects, kamal wins hands down.
He can sing, dance (started as choreographer), direct, produce, write lyrics. He lives for cinema. Now when it comes to acting, the real debate starts. Mohanlal is a king when it comes to day to day roles. Kamal reigns in author backed roles. Not many have acted as a charlie-chaplin, psycho-path, Humanist, buffoon and so on.
Now coming to overacting syndrome, it is important to understand from the cultural context. I believe that dramatic tenor has always been part of tamil culture. If you speak with people from South tamilnadu, you can understand the accent, the stress, the emotional palette which they bring out with their body language. Even subtle things like love, friendship are expressed with variety of emotions. Naturally kamal(hailing from paramakudi near ramanathapuram) portrays in his acting.

Watched veyil( sunshine ) during the vacation. Watching the movie was an exhilarating experience. It filled me with subtle emotions of childhood. Bharath's character portrays the angry young man of madurai and I derived the kamal-mohanlal difference from Bharath's character. Pasupathi came up with a class act. In one word, tamil movie industry at present is malayalam movie industry of 80's. Raw talent can be seen everywhere.

P.s. 1) After a long time, I came up with a post which doesn't speak about my life :).
2) I like mohanlal :-).
3) Waiting for Bala's Njan kadavul. Move over manirathnam. Time for you to exit Tamil field.

Moonam thampuran

Chumma...(Mohanlal style).
This post is to celebrate a new phase of life. Its unbelievable when someone points out that twenty days ago I was in crush with a girl and the crush does not exist any more.Hmmmm, One more unlucky girl in this universe exists from 2007(Gentlemen, Humility is my virtue.)

The most important thing that is frightening me now is my career. I cant land up in soup once more in my life. But thats the challenge and I am relishing it.

And the best thing is optimism. Optimism in transcending relationships, events unfolding now and future; Optimism in wearing new masks, in undergoing pains, in failures and learning; Optimism in exploring new areas; Optimism in LIFE. Period.

Things I enjoyed during vacation:
Rice fields, bright sunlight, heat and humidity, friends, Trip to God's own country, Food and sleep(not exactly in same order)

I'm damn happy in life. I was, I am and I will be; I did not have any new year resolutions. Its funny to note some new year resolutions. New year doesn't exist for me. Each day is new and fresh. Each day is an opportunity. Each day is passport to success. Each day is my day.

Song: "Oru nalil" from pudhupettai which reflects my mood (style copied from kuttan).

p.s. Oflate I feel that the posts are bragging about me. But my marks(results) are not showing the trend. May be its time to CRACK THEM......