Bye bye birthday Jinx

neither my friends nor myself have been affected in the past 4 days. So I safely assume that birthday jinx has been broken atleast for this year.
Well I didnt have anything to fill in this post(curse the jinx :( ).

so posting cliches, trite, hackneyed (installed word web) expressions
If I can change my past life
-- > I wouldn't change anything except
--> I would have proposed to all my crushes ( didnt propose to a single person...if anyone exists in this category, please let me know. I thought that I was the only fool around.)
--> I would have learnt guitar(no not for gals..Passionate about bass guitar)
--> Made some politically correct statements ( Its an art and I always get an "F" in this one)
--> I would have learnt basket ball(love this game ). We were fortunate to watch lots of national level tournaments in the college. nothing can replace the grace and the dunk.
I will be out of action for next twenty days....

clan,pondicherry and my 25th birthday contd....

I turn 25 tomorrow. Exactly two years ago I celebrated my birthday at Pondicherry with the clan. The clan arranged for my Bday cake and I cut, I repeat , I cut the cake in the beach road of pondicherry when the clock struck 12. The clan gave the cake to each one who passed by. I was pretty tensed about the whole affair. There are some 10 families whom I know in pondicherry(the whole city is full of my relatives and friends). I didnt reveal to anyone of them about my whereabouts. They were calling me for the whole day and I didn't pick the cell due to roaming charges :D. I couldnt call them back as they might have a caller id and they will realise that i called them from pondicherry. Finally i called each and every one of them after I reached chennai. I lied a lot that day :D.But that was one of the best birthdays in my life.

My birthday is usually associated with a bad experience in my life or in clan's life. So generally the clan becomes anxious when my birthday is nearing. Let me post incase something interesting happens

U realise that u r getting old when children call u uncle. I was born to my father when he was 26... Sigh :D (25 + 1 = 26 incase u do not get the hint). No inferences please :D.

p.s : photo : clan in pondicherry beach road.

the clan

Today is the festival of lights..sigh. Four years ago when I was in my final year, I was forced to take oil bath by the leader of the clan,deepak aka Gundan. Gundan is the funniest guy I have ever met in my life. Time just flies away when he is near you. there was nothing intellectual to speak with him. Just pure leg pullings. We were his big fans. On the day of diwali, we used to sit in a row. Gundan will apply oil in our heads. After that bath, we used to go a day scholor's house. After grubbing like pigs, we used to go for a movie(most probably vijay movie as many of us were vijay fans),come back and sleep. This year, I woke up at 10.00 A.m. There were lots of diwali wishes but it was not heart felt. No one was there to apply oil in my head. Ofcourse there are no theatres to screen thalaivar movies. some four people called me out for the lunch. I went with them. They spoke in hindi through out the lunch without noticing me. I silently ate the lunch, came back and watched few songs in youtube and plan to sleep for the rest of the day.

So y am i blogging this ? because i miss the clan. The fiercly loyal tribe, who felt that it was shame to think with heads, who went with their hearts out to protect the members of the clan. Nothing was personal and we had amazing wavelengths. Other attributes which the clan shared were
--> we were baptised with class spirit.
--> No gal in the gang (gals were strict no..no. We saw them as dumb headed and not loyal in a relationship. Ofcourse we have travelled a long way since then. How we miss a gal now!!!. Clan, we made a bloody mistake those days)
--> dark skin (donno how. it just happened..everyone was dark )
--> amazing in sports ( everyone was an university player except yours truly :) )
--> last benchers (yeah.. its OBVI)
--> our own shares of crushes and bulbs which we got were legend in the college.
(especially Gundan. Whomever he falls in love with , will get committed to some other guy. Any gal who reads this and wants to get committed can contact gundan and request him to fall in crush with her. Chances are very bright for the gal to get committed with someone who is very smart, rich.)

I toast for success in Ur lives. Cheers( the only teetotaler in the gang was/is me).
so what is the clan doing now ? Leader is an Aussie citizen.
one is in Singapore. two are in noida. One is in oxford univ, one is in tcs, one is in IIM,Joka (mother ******). One is preparing for IAS, some in US and me in their hearts(me being the pet of the clan) :))

reflections

I have been constantly forced to think about my choices these days(summer internships are three weeks away). A week ago I was dead sure that Im going for finance, analytics kind of work. But after deliberating carefully, Im back to square one. A friend of mine who is in industry thinks that sales and marketing is what an MBA is supposed to do. Generally I stick to my decisions. However this guy is so intelligent and I value his opinion.

So the idea of this post came into existence. Let me try to finish this post and by the end of the post, I hope to get something concrete.
I guess my strengths are more suited to Finance. I can do maths, better than most of the guys. I can reason things. I can model, design. Above all, I love doing them. On the contrary, I cant speak with people and am poor in dealing them. So when it comes to sales, I am naturally at a disadvantage. However this is where my ego comes into picture. I cant leave the field without competing with them in their own game. I want to go for finance after i can satisfy myself that Im better than many people in marketing. Im also worried whether Im an ostrich who hides his head to pretend nothing happened. I cant go for finance just because I cant do marketing. When I do it, It has to be a result of selection and not elimination.

The reason why random choices work in life is "its sometimes advantageous not to have the knowledge of something because that knowledge can lead u in a wrong path".
Hence I m thinking of random choices in my summers as well.
who can help me out of this situation ? May be I need to speak with someone in the industry with 5 -6 years of experience. The only worrying factor is that I have never been in a flux state for 7+ days continuously. All the important decisions were taken instantaneously. PG,company,XL - every damn thing was taken in a split second. But the decision of what I want to pursue is eluding me.

Is a back office analytic work(beating the markets for example) better than moving with people,building business(marketing related) or is it other way round ??
Im more confused at the end of post. Infact im enjoying this predicament. Fuzzy is living up to his reputation. Im as clear as the road in the pic.

my SOP of my life

I had to write a SOP for one of the companies coming out here for my summers..
so decided to write it in my own way. Here it goes...

When I entered the hallowed portals of IIT for my post graduation, I wanted to get a nice job and settle down in my life. When I left the hallowed portals, I was no more the same person. It was no more about nice job. I decided to achieve excellence in whatever I do and make difference in people’s life. I knew that it sounded idealistic but decided that it will be my path. The path with ethics and values might be the hardest one but I enjoy the voyage more than the destination. I believe that there is no place for mediocrity in my life. I realized that what I learn and contribute can be compared to a small stone in an ocean. I decided that learning will be a continuous process in my life.

I realized from my life that small gestures shown by someone can motivate others to great heights. I decided that motivating others to aim high in their lives would be an integral part of my life. I constantly remind people surrounding me about their potential. I want to be a leader with a vision matching the vision of the organization. I firmly believe that my success in life will be rated by myself rather than anyone else.

If I can make a significant contribution to the organization, If I can groom people around me, If I can make a difference to their lives, If I can enjoy what I do and I do what enjoy, If I can be play my social roles in a perfect manner, If I learn day in and day out from whatever I see and experience in my life, If I solve challenging problems, I would consider my life to be successful.

"straight" from my heart

yeah..few people here think that im not straight. Few posts in orkut regarding balakrishna ( balayya's dikki), some words from my mouth regarding guys appearance(i used to admire guys who go to gym) and adding to that im still single and dont mingle with the better half led them to think that im not straight. My close friends will definitely laugh when they come to know about this, as they know my "frequency" ( Err.. i meant the wavelength and my tastes and not anything else)

There was a huge comedy yesterday. I unbuttoned my shirt and saw three rashes. My heuristic identified it as chickenpox as one of my close friends had chickenpox 10 days ago. Quick search from wikipedia told me that incubation period was 10 days for zoster virus. I got ready to go home and even decided on which flight to take.
But a sane advice from my friend to go to a Doc and verify whether it was pox saved me 6K bucks. The doc said that this cant be pox and advised me to drink lots of water. Just guess how much would I have paid for this ?? Rs 150. In this small town, docs demand 150(a general physician) ... wondering whether engineering and management are hot fields..should have become a Doc...Since then im in an observation mode and I have been drinking 1 liter of water every one hour.

so if im out of action for next 10 days, u can safely assume that im down with pox :)

some lyrics

Few lyrics in Tamil songs which I like and came across today


If heart is the tool of love, then heart will win the death..Anbe sivam ( anbe sivam – anbe sivam)

I didn't believe in god until I saw my mother( ithu than - puthiya mugam)

Without failure, Life is incomplete.(ohh maname - Ullam ketkume)

I am the king and you are the land of love who is ruling me (Land ruling the king !!!) { raja raja cholan Naan)

Sky is the bodhi tree and everyday it teaches me something new ( pon malaai pozdhu)

Was seriously wondering why I haven’t thought about penning some songs. Have to try that in second year of my college life

Why Do I like each and every gal I Meet ?

Well, not exactly, but….Okay. True. What the fuck. Let me face the fact. In my UG days, I used to fall in crush with many gals. However the only characteristic they had in common was that they were all good looking.

However the only sane point about me rite now is I ignore the conventional ones. There are few gals here in my college who are fair, tall who are liked by everyone. Do I think about them? No. Do they stimulate me? NO. Bloody hell its not any more about body.
So what is it all about?. Its about being natural, passionate, idealist and rational (not in all occasions). Its about loving me more than I love myself. Its about loving me for what I am and giving my space when I need that. Chellam, nee enga irukka ? when will you come in my life ?

So When I thought about the tag name which I had in my UG, I realized the finer point is being missed. The subtlety is that I choose the gals with whom I would fall in crush. The pattern of “my kinda” gals is emerging. (Remember this Maddy’s minnale dialogue?. AMP I miss u man. You were one of those who gave me the other perspective of life. I loved the days at IIT (of course madras mathiri varuma :) ) and you were one of the reasons for it. I hate you for not sending me mails. I hate you for not being committed in the relationship. But that’s what I learn from u. what an irony!! . I want to be committed in a friendship and I tell myself that the best part in a relationship is the best times you had and you have to move on. Mother ****** I would kill you one day for making me weak. Hope you get a nice gal)

So finally I realize that I’m a man and not a boy anymore and there aren’t any more crushes in my life. I have gained confidence that I would be truly committed to my gal if I can find a gal of my choice(I wasn’t sure about it some three years back) . MR. Narayanan, please cheer up and smile please. Everyone rise up. The jury is about to deliver its verdict and The jury decides that: We are matured and we do not fall for each and every gal in our lives.

why do people talk to their girl friends everyday ?

Most people in my college are committed and few others chose to be single. I may be the only one who did not choose to be single, yet remain single :((sob). But sometimes I feel that staying single is rite thing to do(when u hear all the nonsense around day in and day out)..
One should listen to all the nonsense these people speak in the phone. It starts from what time they woke up, what time they went to the loo, what time they had their food, what was the menu in the mess, what class did they attend, what did they teach in the class, who was properly dressed, how many cigarettes they smoked…
Finally they say “I love you. I love you” for as many times as their gal friends want to hear. Then they hear the answers for all these questions from the other side.

There is only one guy out here who speaks properly (???) here. He told his gal friend that in this high pressure situation he needs to take his time to relax and he cant take her phone calls every day. Poor soul !!! he doesn’t know how to treat the other sex ! There is one more guy who utters the four letter word whenever his mobile starts ringing !!. But then he's so chivalrous to his partner over the mobile.
But I feel that committed relationships should be so strong that daily phone calls should not be a necessity. It increases the anticipation of getting a phone call. We should long for it.

If I fall in love with a gal (hmmmm :() , I hereby assure myself that I would not be speaking all the nonsense which I have been hearing for the past 4 months.
Added few links to external blogs. Summers is coming up and Im tensed.

Y cant I speak ?

Today I was asked to give a speech. As usual I screwed it up. Prepared well and fumbled there.. Only take away was I can feel that im improving in my presentation. Earlier I thought that i will screw it up 100%. But today I screwed it up 75%. So 25%improvement (ohhh what a mathematical genius.). This reminds me of another incident in the class. If someone wants to know about incident mail me personally. i cant put that in a public forum
quote of the month : " theres nothing grey in the business. Only white or black "- JRD TATA... enakku ishtam aayee.

Angels on prowl

actually the topic should have been devils on the prowl...but Mr.narayanan(spelling mistake intended) is a believer. Hence i cant add him in the devils category. Had a crystal clear day. Two more GAS subjects introduction for this term. I wanted to puke but told myself that there was only 6 months left for the year to end.
My Ex-crush who proposed me some 4 months back sent me all the gift items back..she accused me of being rude,insensitive to her feelings. I was in crush 3 years ago. A lot had happened in the mean time. She was not responding to my cues and then we came to know that we both did nt share similar tastes. By that time, kawa, ayn-rand,kuttan and some one else (naming will not be proper here ... close friends can fill the name)came to my rescue. I deflected my thoughts and was relieved of it. Still I used to send her gifts on her birthdays and mail her occasionally because I liked her as a friend. Out of the blue, some 4 months ago I got a mail saying that she is in deep love with me. Since I know that rejecting outright might hurt her, I told her that i would be ready to help her out. I said that in a matter of months, she will recover (like how I recovered in IIT)and she will be grateful for not accepting her.( I know that im not a good match for her and neither she is for me...)Things are not rosy as they seem to be. The relationship turned sour except for the last mail in which we had nice words to say about each other's future life and I got the gift back(err..she sent me back. She does not want them as she thinks that it s like an illegal child). I was wondering what I can do with the gift. The irony is she has packed the gift in the same cover which I sent her ( can you believe that she didn't throw the cover for 3 years). I always used to wonder whether I should tell her that I m blogging. But I didnt give my blog id to her. Now it helps. It doesn't matter when she comes to know about my blog at a later stage(she might not!). Wishing u very best in ur life (from my heart). I strongly feel that you should give your blog only to your close friends. Acquaintances should not read the blog. Others can read if they come to know about it or come across it. But the advantage is that they would not come across in ur daily life or if they become ur friends, then it would be in the close friends circle ( somehow this theory of mine should be refined. Help needed....)

Narayanan and I had a flame war about banished soul blog, ayn rand. Thanks da, for giving me soul's old blog and pointing out the difference. It was a sort of revealation to me. We always feel that good things should not change ( or vice versa ?)(did not why I typed the sentence.But decided against deleting it) . Narayanan and myself are similar in many ways. We can't keep count of certain things in life :). Today, I got some strength back after reading Narayanan's mails, surya's rediff blog and kawa's voice. Everyone whom i like, thinks like me(not exactly. But still the core aspects never change.). My heartfelt thanks to everyone, without whom I would have become mad . Without the support and friendship, I wouldn't have realised that there are souls like me in the universe.
Some salient features from the soul's old blog(its like my comments on her posts in my blog)
1- the best way to avoid a marriage is to do an MBA. ( i followed the same route)
2- thinking about how your life partner should be ( I thought until I became mad and decided that im going to stay single for rest of my life)
3- UG life need not be colorful ( its a shock. I never thought that people can have a sick UG life)
4- innocence is a virtue and u never know when u ll lose it(the overall feel.)(again I dont know why i typed it. But im retaining the sentence)

As for my plans are concerned, its getting clearer day by day. I have to be patient till my first year gets over. Once Im in second year, you decide your subjects and you decide your priorities. Im looking forward to the loneliness of the second year where I can read read and read as if there would be no tomorrow.