Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Angels on prowl

actually the topic should have been devils on the prowl...but Mr.narayanan(spelling mistake intended) is a believer. Hence i cant add him in the devils category. Had a crystal clear day. Two more GAS subjects introduction for this term. I wanted to puke but told myself that there was only 6 months left for the year to end.
My Ex-crush who proposed me some 4 months back sent me all the gift items back..she accused me of being rude,insensitive to her feelings. I was in crush 3 years ago. A lot had happened in the mean time. She was not responding to my cues and then we came to know that we both did nt share similar tastes. By that time, kawa, ayn-rand,kuttan and some one else (naming will not be proper here ... close friends can fill the name)came to my rescue. I deflected my thoughts and was relieved of it. Still I used to send her gifts on her birthdays and mail her occasionally because I liked her as a friend. Out of the blue, some 4 months ago I got a mail saying that she is in deep love with me. Since I know that rejecting outright might hurt her, I told her that i would be ready to help her out. I said that in a matter of months, she will recover (like how I recovered in IIT)and she will be grateful for not accepting her.( I know that im not a good match for her and neither she is for me...)Things are not rosy as they seem to be. The relationship turned sour except for the last mail in which we had nice words to say about each other's future life and I got the gift back(err..she sent me back. She does not want them as she thinks that it s like an illegal child). I was wondering what I can do with the gift. The irony is she has packed the gift in the same cover which I sent her ( can you believe that she didn't throw the cover for 3 years). I always used to wonder whether I should tell her that I m blogging. But I didnt give my blog id to her. Now it helps. It doesn't matter when she comes to know about my blog at a later stage(she might not!). Wishing u very best in ur life (from my heart). I strongly feel that you should give your blog only to your close friends. Acquaintances should not read the blog. Others can read if they come to know about it or come across it. But the advantage is that they would not come across in ur daily life or if they become ur friends, then it would be in the close friends circle ( somehow this theory of mine should be refined. Help needed....)

Narayanan and I had a flame war about banished soul blog, ayn rand. Thanks da, for giving me soul's old blog and pointing out the difference. It was a sort of revealation to me. We always feel that good things should not change ( or vice versa ?)(did not why I typed the sentence.But decided against deleting it) . Narayanan and myself are similar in many ways. We can't keep count of certain things in life :). Today, I got some strength back after reading Narayanan's mails, surya's rediff blog and kawa's voice. Everyone whom i like, thinks like me(not exactly. But still the core aspects never change.). My heartfelt thanks to everyone, without whom I would have become mad . Without the support and friendship, I wouldn't have realised that there are souls like me in the universe.
Some salient features from the soul's old blog(its like my comments on her posts in my blog)
1- the best way to avoid a marriage is to do an MBA. ( i followed the same route)
2- thinking about how your life partner should be ( I thought until I became mad and decided that im going to stay single for rest of my life)
3- UG life need not be colorful ( its a shock. I never thought that people can have a sick UG life)
4- innocence is a virtue and u never know when u ll lose it(the overall feel.)(again I dont know why i typed it. But im retaining the sentence)

As for my plans are concerned, its getting clearer day by day. I have to be patient till my first year gets over. Once Im in second year, you decide your subjects and you decide your priorities. Im looking forward to the loneliness of the second year where I can read read and read as if there would be no tomorrow.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who is Narayanan?
When I read your writings about banished soul and banished souls banished blog... I get a small silly smile.. :)

I am gonna write a small reply entry in my blog.

sands.

Anonymous said...

can I have the banished blog?

a) Yes
b) Yes
c) All of the above.

sands.

Anonymous said...

"innocence is a virtue and u never know when u ll lose it"

innocence is a virtue which you realize that you have lost it after you loose it :)

The Lonely Backpacker said...

@vimal

No one knows whether losing innocence is good or bad..
so banished soul may be reflecting a better personality now.